


If I Wait, I Might Never Tell You

by feastorfamine



Series: Wayward Guide Holidays [1]
Category: Wayward Guide for the Untrained Eye (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Not Beta Read, Paul Schue-Horyn has ADHD, gay people :rolling_eyes:, mentioned Artemis Schue-Horyn/Madison Reynolds, trans Artemis Schue-Horyn, trans Paul Schue-Horyn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28449264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feastorfamine/pseuds/feastorfamine
Summary: Paul realizes, while he eats his lunch on New Year's Eve, that there's someone he needs to talk to before the year ends.
Relationships: Sybilus Silver II/Paul Schue-Horyn
Series: Wayward Guide Holidays [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2165694
Comments: 9
Kudos: 26





	If I Wait, I Might Never Tell You

Paul isn’t good at making decisions. In fact, he’s terribly indecisive. That’s why Artemis makes so many of the choices about their pitches and their final edits to the show and just about everything else. If he and Artie hadn’t chosen their names together, he would’ve gone by a million of them before he settled on “Apollo”; it’s very possible he might not have settled on it at all. His ADHD doesn’t help either, as he comes up with countless ideas in a minute and then forgets them all immediately.

All that being said, he’s surprised himself with this one. He’s on a road trip from Los Angeles to Connor Creek, on December 31st, trying to beat the New Year’s countdown, and as he explains to his exasperated sister on the phone, he isn’t entirely sure  _ why _ he’s done this.

Well, that’s not totally true. He knows why. He’s never had a New Year’s kiss, nor has he ever really had the desire to have one. For the first time in his life, as he was eating his (quite frankly, terrible) sandwich from the Subway nearest to his apartment, he was struck with the overwhelming want to kiss someone at midnight. Not just “someone”, of course, but the accountant he met just a few months earlier.

Everyone in Connor Creek knew, apparently, that Paul had a massive crush on Sybilus. Except for Sybilus, that is. Artemis, Madison, and even  _ Desmond _ made it abundantly clear. Once Ellis and Mary Jo picked up on it? If the residents hadn’t figured it out themselves, they’d certainly know soon enough. 

Paul’s pretty sure that by the time they left town, he and Sybilus were the only ones who hadn’t talked about it to each other.

(He’s in awe of how well Artemis hides her own relationship, which has been ongoing since a few weeks after their departure from the town. Guilt strikes him about an hour into the drive because they really should get to see each other too, but then Artemis calls and tells him they’re both on his side. The later call he receives from Madison, the hype-woman she is, confirms it and rids him of most of that guilt.)

A road trip alone is terrible, he remembers just under halfway through the drive. His nonexistent sense of time isn’t doing him any favors. He feels like he’s spent a calendar month in his car, and it’s been about four hours. Even the shortcuts Madison told him about aren’t saving him much time, though he’s glad to know he won’t have to go  _ around _ the mountain range this time. His eyes keep darting to the dashboard clock and back to the road, as the hours get closer and closer to 12.

Around the sixth hour in the car, he calls Madison in a panic.

“What if I don’t make it in time? What if he goes to sleep too early and doesn’t stay up for midnight? Like, Mads, what if I just get there and go to his place and he’s  _ asleep _ ? I think I will literally die. My tombstone is gonna say ‘Apollo Schue-Horyn, died of homosexual embarrassment.’”

Madison cracks up. At first, it makes Paul feel worse, but Madison’s laugh is contagious and kind of makes him realize how ridiculous he sounds. 

“I’ll pull some strings, make sure he’s up and about when you get here, alright? Desmond owes me a favor.” He can practically hear her wink over the phone, but he has no clue what Desmond is gonna do about all of this. He’s pretty sure Desmond would go to bed at ten every night if he didn’t own a bar.

_ Oh. _ Desmond owns a bar. And it’s New Year’s Eve. No fucking way.

The rest of the drive, when not occupied by updates from Madison about her “plan”, was a lot of overthinking. There are a million different scenarios running through Paul’s head, and he’s not emotionally prepared for a single one of them. Even the positive ones are making him overwhelmed just to think about, because he hasn’t kissed a guy in months, he’s not even sure how long, nor has he had a real crush in over a year, so it’s a lot to think about. 

Yes, he’s got a podcast on autoplay, but he’s gotten awfully good at tuning out the world to get lost in his own head. Best case scenario, Sybilus reciprocates his huge crush and they kiss and live happily ever after. Worst case scenario, Paul gets rejected after driving ten hours and has a panic attack and maybe dies of embarrassment. Those are solid boundaries, he can handle that.

It’s 11:30 when Paul gets there, and his heart has been racing for the past hour with anxiety about how little time there is until the new year. He has half an hour to find Sybilus and talk to him about his feelings. That is almost certainly not enough time, or so he assumes, but he gets there and parks by the Sheriff’s Office to meet Madison, and she already has a bouquet that the Walkers gave her for him, and she’s explaining that Sybilus said he had work to finish so he tried to get out of coming to the Dead Canary but she and Rita got him to come and it’s  _ so much _ . But he thinks it just might all be coming together. And then it’s happening. 

11:50. The Times Square ball dropped almost three hours ago, when Paul was still stuck in his car, navigating the forest roads to make sure he knew where he was. If they were anywhere else, he’d be late. But they’re in Connor Creek, and he’s never been happier to be there.

“Paul?” Sybilus looks baffled, and rightfully so. His eyebrows knit together but his lips curl up into a smile. God, Paul missed that smile. And  _ God _ , is that realization the gayest thought he’s had all day, somehow.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” He grins, making a little finger gun with the hand he isn’t holding flowers with. The two stand in an uncomfortable, yet expected silence for a second, before Sybilus breaks it.

“Who’re those flowers for? I n-n-n-never took you for the bouquet sort.” He asks, and it sounds so genuine that it really hits Paul how clueless Syb is to his feelings.

“They’re, uh! For you, actually.” Paul offers him the bouquet, and then retracts his hand again, preemptively. “Wait, shit, are you allergic to any flowers? I didn’t even think to ask—”

“No, I’m—!” Their words overlap, and then Syb is stuttering nervously, and Paul has to remind himself that he hasn’t even  _ really  _ confessed his feelings yet, so that might not be a negative reaction.

“It doesn’t matter, actually, I don’t even really care about the flowers, they weren’t my idea, uh— I just drove for ten hours to get here and see you.” It comes out before Paul thinks about it. The speech he ran in his head over and over on the drive is out the window. “I think that might be the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done in my life, Syb, and I did it because I really like you, like… very much, a lot, I like you a lot.” He rambles, and apparently he’s not done there. “And I know that this is sudden, and it’s New Year’s Eve, and I just showed up out of nowhere and I’m monologuing at you like the lead in a shitty romcom, but I think if I hadn’t come here tonight… I don’t think I ever would’ve told you.” 

The following silence is absolutely deafening. Paul waits it out, and it takes Sybilus three separate pre-speaking breaths to get words out. 

“You really d-d-d-d—” He sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “You came all the way here? For me?” The pure disbelief on his face says it all, and Paul wants to yell from the rooftop of the B&B&B that he’d do way more than drive ten hours for Sybilus. 

“Yeah. Madison set up this whole… party… thing. To make sure you’d be awake and around this late. Uh— This is gonna really suck if you don’t feel the same way, I’m sorry—”

“No! No, Paul, I think— know— I— I like you a lot too.”

“... You do?”

“Yes, I— I really do.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard in weeks, holy shit.” Paul is grinning ear-to-ear, and his smile is reflected on Sybilus’s face too. “Wow, that’s— That’s great, Syb.”

He hasn’t even put down the flowers yet, but he’s looking over at the small television someone’s set up on the edge of the bar.

11:58.

“How… How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you…” Sybilus tilts his head, hoping he won’t have to finish the question. He doesn’t have to.

“Since we met. You really do have the coolest name I’ve ever heard.”

They share a quiet laugh.

11:59.

“I’m glad we can ring in the n-n-new year… aware of this.” Sybilus is the first to speak again, and it lets Paul ask what he came here for.

“Can we ring in the new year  _ celebrating _ this?”

10.

“... How so?”

9.

“Could I kiss you?”

8.

“Oh.”

7.

“ _ Oh _ !”

6.

“Yes, I’d love— ah, like—”

5.

“Yes, please.”

4.

Paul laughs, excited and proud of them both.

3.

He puts the flowers down on the table beside them.

2.

He steps closer to Sybilus.

1.

Syb grabs his hand before he can initiate the action.

0.

Suddenly, ten hours feels very worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> title from "to you" by andy shauf.
> 
> i've never written a new year's themed fic before so this was new! also it was written between the hours of midnight and three am so i'm sorry if it's Like That.


End file.
